Defining Modesty God’s Way
Let me guess what is going through your head right now.
Women: “Oh, wonderful, a discussion on modesty. Give me a minute while I prepare myself for another legalistic diatribe that tells us we have to dress like old-fashioned grandmas and sends us to the store with a list and a tape measure.”
Men: “Yes, tell the women to start putting some clothes on! I’ll just tune out now since this has nothing to do with me.”
How close was I? Unfortunately, those reactions are the result of a world that mocks modesty and a church that does not properly teach a biblical theology of it to counteract society’s messaging. Carl Trueman aptly summarizes, “Whether the attack comes from the New Left, with its view of modesty as an ideological instrument of oppression, or from the hedonists, for whom the idea is simply a tool used by killjoys to stop others having fun and being who they want to be, the result is the same: modesty is immoral, and modest people are repressed, incomplete, and less fulfilled than they could or should be.”[1]
Some professing Christians have adopted similar perspectives as their own. They may argue that Christian liberty gives them license to wear whatever they want without concern or responsibility for how others respond to their appearance. Modesty is outdated and no longer applicable. On the opposite end, modesty may evoke images of strict legalistic standards and inch-specific guidelines for what each person is allowed to wear. Church leaders make it a salvation issue and heap accusations of potentially causing another to stumble onto anyone who diverts from those rules. Those outside looking in may call them old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy, and strange.
Before we go any further, let me assure you that both of these perspectives are wrong. God created clothes for a reason as we have seen. Crying the Christian liberty argument only applies so far. Our salvation is not dependent on it, but it certainly plays a role in backing up our claim to faith as a practical application of the gospel and new life in Christ.
But this is the problem with the idea of modesty today. We know the word. We each react to it. But do we actually know what it means biblically?
Modesty Is More Than External
Pull out a dictionary and flip to (or type in the search box) the word “modesty.”[2] You will find that definitions include two major categories, an external and an internal. The external relates to our clothing. Shocker. Modest attire is 1) proper, suitable, and acceptable to the social situation and 2) without sexual implications. What is the second major emphasis, you ask? These lexicons describe the internal manifestation of modesty as not having a prideful or boastful demeanor but rather expressing and carrying yourself with a proper and low estimation.
What single word could we use to describe this? Humility.
Now let’s take that word to the Bible. What does God say about humility? Though the word modesty appears only once in Scripture, humility or humble appears nearly 100 times. If modesty equals humility, studying those passages will help us develop a good idea of what biblical modesty should look like. When we do so, two significant observations stand out:
- God commands all believers without designation or distinction to cultivate humility as a demonstration of their fear of the Lord (Eph. 4:1-3; Phil. 2:3; 1 Pet. 3:8). Though we usually associate this discussion with women due to their propensity to exude sexuality, God commands “all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God is opposed to the proud, but He gives grace to the humble” (1 Pet. 5:5). That is because humility is a heart attitude that then expresses itself in our attire. Therefore, this conversation about modesty applies to every believer.
- Our humble attitude will result in honor and blessing from God that will far exceed any praise we will get from this world (Is. 66:2b; Pr. 22:4; Mt. 23:12; 1 Pet. 5:6-7). The Scriptures provide the greatest example of this in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. After instructing the Philippians to regard one another with selfless humility (2:3-4), the apostle Paul demonstrates how that reflects Christ’s attitude in His incarnation (v. 5-11). Without laying aside His deity, He humbled Himself and became a man to die for us. His Father rewarded Him with exaltation. Therefore, every believer has a biblical obligation to take up their cross, follow after Christ, and cultivate this attitude in themselves as they seek to be transformed into His image and look forward to their heavenly reward (Rom. 8:29; 2 Cor. 3:18).
So, believer, get rid of the idea that modesty is merely about how much clothes you wear. At the biblical foundation, modesty is humility. Since it is a biblical command, that erases the arguments of legalism and the excuse of Christian liberty. Modesty is just a demonstration of a transformed life of obedience.
Modesty’s Opposite
With that foundation laid, let’s talk about what immodesty means. Do you know how to do that easily? Find the term that means the exact opposite. Thus, if modesty means humility, being proper, and not sexual, then immodesty equals pride, impropriety, and sexuality. The world tells us all the time that these are good things. But what does the Bible have to say about them?
- They are deeds of the flesh that characterize the old self, namely those who do not know Christ (Mk. 7:21-23; Rom. 13:13; Eph. 4:17-19; 5:3-4). For those of us who have repented of our sins and trusted in Christ, we are new creations and dead to those deeds (Col. 3:5-7). We should be continually putting on the Lord Jesus Christ, pursuing righteousness, holiness, and Christlikeness that define the new self (Rom. 13:14; Eph. 4:22-24; Col. 3:9-10). That is not to say we will not fall in these areas at times because we are still imperfect human beings. However, they should not habitually characterize the life of a true child of God. That includes immodest attire.
- God does not look with pleasure on these attributes (Pr. 16:5; Job 40:11-12; Gal. 5:19-21). In fact, He promises to judge those who habitually practice such things because they do not bear fruit of saving faith. Whether dressing to show off, get someone’s attention, or stand out in a crowd, all those reasons give the appearance of being a friend of the world and an enemy of God (Jam. 4:4). Why would a true believer want to give such a false perception to a watching world? And why would we want to displease our God by living in a way that is contrary to what He has commanded of His children?
Thus, to put it bluntly – immodesty is a sin. That means Christ died for every instance of it. Have you ever stopped to think about that? You might look nice, attract attention, and fit in with the world, but He died a brutal death on the cross to pay for the sin that led you to act and dress in such a way. Thus, continuing to dress immodestly when we proclaim the name of Christ is nothing to be proud of.
Food for Thought
As believers, both men and women must pursue a heart attitude of modesty that reflects itself in their clothing. They must choose purity over sensuality, humility over pride, propriety over impropriety, motivated by a desire to please and glorify Him (1 Cor. 10:31; 2 Cor. 5:9; Col. 3:17). After all, let us not forget that submitting to His Lordship includes making Him Lord over our clothing. Therefore, the simple act of getting dressed should be an act of worship that seeks to elevate and obey Him rather than exalting and pleasing self.
Are these challenging truths for you to hear and accept? Our still remaining flesh means we must battle our self-focused desires continually. This requires us to examine ourselves daily and ask God, who alone truly knows our heart motives, to reveal what drives our clothing choices so we can battle the flesh in those areas and for His help to obey (Ps. 139:23-24; Jer. 17:10; 1 Cor. 4:4-5). Repent of the self-focused attitudes of pride and attention-seeking. Ask for a humble spirit that wants to see Him increase at the expense of yourself. Pray for His help to obey and thus appropriately show your theology to a watching world.
That, my friends, is biblical modesty.
[1] Trueman, Carl R. The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution. Wheaton, Illinois, Crossway, 2020, 299.
[2] I used the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary, and the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary.
