Reflections on Steve Lawson’s Latest Book
Proverbs 29:20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Steve Lawson has written a book, Mercy in the Wilderness: How I Fell & What I Found. This book was predictable. And the responses were, likewise, predictable.
Some are upset that Lawson is charging for a book when, ostensibly, he had been charging for a ministry that was itself a façade for many years. Here is a man who was handsomely remunerated for his speaking engagements and ministry work and who now stands to profit from a book written in the aftermath of his heinous sins. I do not take as much issue with that as some others have, though I understand the sentiment.
Others have argued that it is simply too soon for Lawson to publish a book. I largely agree, although there is inevitably some subjectivity involved in determining what “too soon” means.
As a pastor, you eventually learn that when someone has been living a lie for many years, particularly when the sins involved are deeply serious, destructive, and shameful, repentance must be accompanied by observable fruit. Fruit takes time to grow. Therefore, the genuine repentance we all desire for Lawson will require years of pastoral care, accountability, and observation. He engaged in a pattern of sin over years that mirrors the life of an unbeliever rather than a believer. This was not a bad month of backsliding.
Perhaps there will come a time when Lawson has something important to teach the church through his experience based upon true repentance. But as a pastor, I worry that time has not yet come. And, in my own opinion, I’d prefer he stay silent and serve quietly in his local church by stacking chairs and helping the needy. If such a confession must be written, would it not be more powerful coming from a decade of quietly serving and reflecting? Or would he be forgotten by then and so lack an audience?
The nature of his sin was so deceptive that, while true repentance can bring immediate forgiveness before God, repentance also involves a forsaking of deeply embedded patterns of sin. Those patterns do not simply disappear overnight. They require time, discipline, accountability, and grace to overcome. The healing of relationships with those who have been grievously hurt also takes time. With this book, the two women, his former wife and the young lady, are brought back into the public view. I don’t think that’s fair on them.
This book was not written overnight, unless AI (or a ghostwriter) helped. That means the time between the exposure of these things and Lawson sitting down to write a book seems far too short for my pastoral sensibilities. Disagree if you will, but at least have some sympathy for how difficult these cases are for pastors who deal with them in real life.
Of the large portions I have read (I rarely read books in their entirety), they are not very insightful. Lawson could have written a blog post and left it at that. But no. Steve Lawson has written an entire book that doesn’t tell us a whole lot we couldn’t have guessed or read from other previous confessions made by others. It isn’t rocket science: he was arrogant and believed his own hype; he thought he was a god and so, as a god, could play by a different set of rules than everyone else. And the Lord allowed his delusion to get exposed, hopefully for Lawson’s everlasting good.
In the book, we are told that God put Steve Lawson in the wilderness. God did it. Just as the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness, and God led Paul into the wilderness, and John was exiled to “the wilderness” (Patmos), so God sends His chosen servants into the wilderness.
“So it was with me,” Lawson writes. “When God put me in the wilderness…”
I find this deeply troubling, and, frankly, almost blasphemous in its correlation to Christ.
The delusion that enabled Lawson to teach and preach, while simultaneously committing adultery with a much younger woman for many years, appears, at least in part, to remain present in this recently released book. Lawson’s situation is quite unlike Paul’s, John’s, and especially our Lord’s. If only his wilderness lasted as long as Moses’s did before writing a book!
On the back cover, we are told, “My giftedness exceeded my godliness.” Here is a man who apparently became too busy, albeit “with good intentions,” doing countless good things for the kingdom. Yet, despite all those good things, he still found time to maintain and hide an adulterous affair for years.
It almost feels as though we are still being asked to be impressed with Steve Lawson and his accomplishments and “giftedness,” as though he were somehow a victim of his own indefatigable talents and service. Sure, he admits his faults, but you are left in no doubt about the man’s great work for the kingdom.
The issue is not whether Steve Lawson can experience the grace of God and have hope of future glory as he trusts in Christ alone for salvation. I trust we all genuinely desire that for him. As the saying goes, “But for the grace of God there go I.” The issue, as I see it, is whether Lawson has actually learned anything. I hope so, but this book doesn’t convince me.
David’s Psalm (51) is a Psalm for all of us. It is a Psalm for Lawson; it is a Psalm for every repentant Christian. And, if we are honest, it means that many fallen pastors do not need to tell us about their so-called journey into the wilderness. They can simply point us to Psalm 51 as their hope, and we would all rejoice. Enough said.
