Review of Mark Vroegop's Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament

Summary of the Book

     In the introduction of his book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, Mark Vroegop contends that “there is deep mercy under dark clouds when we discover the grace of lament” (p. 22). His book is a book about the grace of lament. Vroegop is neither an armchair theologian writing a treatise on the complex topic of suffering, nor is he promising that his book will present a technique that will once and for all deals with their tough circumstances or their bad feelings. His book actually springs from a familial and personal journey of sorrows, among them losing a daughter few days before her birth. It’s a book that shows how the different Biblical passages on lament, especially Psalms of lamination (part 1) and the book of Lamentations (part 2), are God’s gift to his people during the times of pain. “Lament invites us to grieve and trust, to struggle and believe” (p. 20). Vroegop, therefore, defines lament as “a prayer in pain that leads to trust” (p. 28). It is God’s given alternative of silent bitterness, despair or denial, vain hopes and unpacified confusion. Lament is not something that we naturally do, but something that we need to learn. For “to cry is human, but to lament is Christian.” (p. 27). In fact, when we lament, we follow Jesus. Jesus himself was described with a lament Psalm (Jh. 2:17; Ps. 69:9), He talked about His betrayal from a lament Psalm (Jh. 3:18; Ps. 41:9), and on the cross, His most mysterious words were from a lament Psalm (Ps. 22:1) (p. 66).

     In Part 1, Vroegop focuses on learning how to lament from the Psalms (i.e., Ps. 77, 10, 22, 13). The largest category in the Psalms, one third of the entire book, is psalms of lament.[1] Lament typically asks at least two questions: (1) “Where are you, God?” (2) “If you love me, why is this happening?”[2] And most of the biblical lament includes four key elements: (1) Address to God (i.e., choosing to pray instead of resigning into silence)[3]; (2) Complaint (i.e., boldly but humbly explaining to God the situation that causes our suffering); (3) Request (i.e., bold request based on God’s character); Finally, (4) expression of trust and/or praise (i.e., actively waiting and remembering God’s deeds of salvation).[4] In a word, lament is to turn, complain, ask, and trust.

     In speaking about complaining in lament, Vroegop is keen to exclude the “self-centered rage at God” which always dishonors Him (p. 43). It is rather a complaint that is God-centered, since it is out of a heart that desires to see the distance between God’s promises and the painful reality being abridged. To teach us to complain well, Vroegop calls us to: (1) Come Humble: “Before you start complaining, be sure you’ve checked arrogance at the door. Come with your pain, not your pride.” (2) Pray the Bible as you complain, for this will keep your lament on track. (3) Be Honest with God about your fears and pains. Remember that God is not surprised, Christ sympathize, and the Spirit intercedes (Heb. 4:15; Rom. 8:26). (4) Don’t just complain for complain sake: seek to move forward with God (p. 52-54).

     Following the complaint, we ask boldly. Vroegop contends that God’s people are in fact commanded to ask boldly (Hebrews 4:16).[5] In lament Psalms, there are nine petitions or requests for lamenting people. “Arise, O LORD!”; “Grant us help”; “Remember your covenant”; “Let justice be done”; “Don’t remember our sins”; “Restore us!”; “Don’t be silent – listen to me”; “Teach me” during my pain; “Vindicate me!” (p. 61-65). As we pray these prayers, we are called to trust that “songs of sorrow and the Man of Sorrows meet us in our pain.” (p. 66). That’s why asking boldly should finally lead us to trusting God. Turning the heart to trusting God is always signified in psalms by words like “but” and “however” (i.e., Ps. 13:5; 31:12,14; 71:10-11, 14; 86: 14-15). In this turning of the heart, we choose to remember God’s saving love in many ways, but ultimately, we go to the gospel where his steadfast love shines the brightest. Trusting in God’s promises does “not end the pain, but they do give it purpose.” (p. 80). And in trusting God, although pain might not end, it “become(s) a platform for worship” (p. 73).

     In part 2, Vroegop walks us through the book of Lamentations. This short book, most of which is written in acrostic form, teaches us to “see suffering from A to Z” (p. 94). In the first two chapters in Lamentations, we learn at least three wisdom lessons. First, sin is the real problem. “Underneath the destruction of Jerusalem, every pain, and all our laments is the real problem: sin.” Second, as we see Jeremiah lamenting for a nation, we learn that my sin and suffering are not the only problems. So, rather than being self-focused in in our pain, we learn to lament for what concerns God and breaks other people’s heart. Thirdly, we see how lament awakens the soul and tunes our hearts “toward God’s perspective” (p. 101-104).[6]

     Lamentations 3 is the climax of the book. It moves from no hope and only darkness (3:1-20), to a decisive turning point as Jeremiah’s mind is turned to think and remember God, His salvation and His past mercies (v. 21), this is followed by an increase in hope and trust (v. 21-66 and esp. vv. 55-58; also, compare v. 18 with v. 58).[7] An obvious lesson from this chapter is that, “we may hear our hearts say, “It’s hopeless!” but we should argue back.”[8] Lamentations 4 shows how God use hardships to show us our idols and to free us from them. Hence, lament “mourns misplaced trust” (p. 125).[9] Lamentations 5 have almost all the elements of lament, but the focus is on asking and turning to God for hope. And the whole book ends with hopeful prayer (Lam. 5:21-22): “Restore us to yourself, O LORD” (v. 21)!

In Part 3, Vroegop ends his book with personal and community applications. He gives some steps to grow personally through biblical lament: (1) Read and reread Scripture; (2) Grieve in big and less intense situations; (3) Use lament in counseling; (4) Overcome bitterness by lamenting God’s way in God’s presence; (5) Confess your sins as you grieve over them; (6) Battle loneliness by bringing your feelings to God’s presence through lament; (7) “Keep trusting the one who keeps you trusting.”[10] Then in the final chapter, Vroegop encourages preachers to use lamentation’s language in funerals (instead of a well-meant yet unwise subtle avoidance of talking about pain), to preach and teach on lamentations and lamentation psalms, to teach their congregations by their own example how to pray their own lamentation prayers, and to encourage the singing of these portions from Scripture in public worship.

How this book can be helpful in preaching and counseling, and the relationship of both?

Vroegop’s book is instructive in many ways for both the personal and the public ministries of the Word. In counseling people, to teach them to lament is the alternative of (a) encouraging an overly unhealthy introspection that aggravate their pains; (b) providing impatient responses that lacks compassion or applying the truth without offering framework of grace. “In this way, lament can become a helpful part of the counseling process. Feelings are expressed, grace is embraced, and the heart is renewed.” (p. 166). We teach the hurting people that they “are given permission to grieve, but not aimlessly or selfishly” (p. 36). Hence, the pastor/counselor will highly benefit his own soul and his counselees when he has a lifetime of studying, praying and applying scriptural lament. In addition, it should be part of the diet of the counselee homework to study and pray them till they formulate their own lament prayers.

Hearing people’s pains and teaching them in counseling how to lament will inevitably enrich the public ministry of the Word. The fact that there are always people in the congregation who are passing by different hardships (family conflicts, financial difficulties, loneliness, physical suffering, unbelieving family and friends) should move preachers to use God’s grace of lament. Preach the explicit lament portions, highlight laments when it is more implicit in the text, and when God uses lament to increase your hope share personally how this can impact our prayer lives. The apostle Paul did something similar in Romans 8, the greatest chapter about the life in the Spirit and the Christian assurance, when he used a lament Psalm as he speaks of the great Christian hope (8:35-39; Ps. 44:22) (p. 80). Finally, we ourselves should never forget nor let our congregations dismiss the truth that our Savior was the greatest sufferer who not only shared our suffering and sustains us in our suffering but who promised an end for all suffering. And until God fulfills His promise,

Keep trusting the One who keeps you trusting

Mark Abdelmessieh (ThM, and now DMin student at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary) is married to Rosie. They have four boys. He is an elder in the Presbyterian Church in Egypt, and teaches at Alexandria School of Theology.