Belated Delivery on a Promise to Crossway
Belated Delivery on a Promise to Crossway
May 4, 2011
This is somewhat overdue, as I promised Crossway I would do it some time back; but the following is a belated recommendation of Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault by Justin S. Holcomb and Lindsey A. Holcomb, both associated with Mars Hill Church in Seattle, where Justin is a pastor.
The book is clearly structured and well-written but not a pleasure to read, as it splices objective facts about sexual abuse and theological analysis of the issue with harrowing accounts of real-life abuse. These latter are not prurient or explicit but they are nonetheless difficult to read. I had an idyllic childhood in a happy home which was remarkably untouched even by the typical hardships of life such as illness and death; I find it distressing to be faced with the reality that not every child enjoys the privileges which I had.
The book is written in the second person and thus has the feel of a personal address to a victim of abuse. This certainly does not make it any less helpful as a book for those of us who have not suffered such abuse but may need to address those who have; and it inevitably enhances its value as a text to give to someone wrestling with these kind of issues.
The authors provide a consistent theological lens through which they analyse sexual abuse. Thus, there is none of the usual psychobabble or namby-pamby `big hug' type of nonsense that too often has the effect of either making the problem too mysterious or too simple. There is no mystery about sexual abuse: like all sin, it is all about power; and its effects are complex and long-lasting. Thus, we need neither a new Gnosticism nor some sentimental strip of sticking plaster to deal with it. We need rather to understand it in the context of fallen humanity (historical and theological fact), the redemptive work of Christ (historical and theological fact), and the reality of being a now-redeemed people who have nonetheless not yet reached the Promised Land and thus still live in the shadow of the Fall (historical and theological fact). The authors do this with a single-minded approach that is extremely helpful.
Having said that, they also highlight the fact that human beings, as complex creatures, are generally not healed in an instant. Forgiveness and justification are instant, total, and declaratory; the healing of the scars of sins committed by us and against us can take a lifetime to heal. I often reflect on how, in my own Christian life, I continue to wrestle with many of the same sins that afflicted me on the day I first heard the gospel nearly thirty years ago; old habits die hard. And thus for the victims of abuse: the damage done in the past is not forgotten overnight. The Holcombs are particularly strong in Part Two of the book, where they outline the phases that victims can - not must--go through as grace is applied to their lives.
My only caveat is one that I find myself typically applying to any book dealing with matters such as poverty or sexual assault. The statistics (in this case, the claim that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes) always seem rather sensational. Maybe it is because I have a very sheltered background, but these seem to me unbelievably high; though I have seen enough of it in the church to know that sexual abuse is certainly alive and well within her walls. Perhaps clearer definitions of exactly what constitutes sexual assault might have helped, lest such statistics lead to a backlash through their potential trivializing of what it is and is not.
Finally, having been preaching through Judges for the last year, I have arrived at the truly terrifying chapter of Judges 19. This chapter is a somber reminder that the sins of the gang rapists in Sodom in Genesis finally made their way into the lives and behaviour of the very people of God. In light of this clear biblical fact, books like that by the Holcombs are to be welcomed and to be read, even though the content can only be described as at times very harrowing. They also, I hope, help those like myself, with little experience in such areas, preach with more sensitivity to a congregation where, statistically at least, these matters are almost certainly of more than mere abstract concern.
The book is clearly structured and well-written but not a pleasure to read, as it splices objective facts about sexual abuse and theological analysis of the issue with harrowing accounts of real-life abuse. These latter are not prurient or explicit but they are nonetheless difficult to read. I had an idyllic childhood in a happy home which was remarkably untouched even by the typical hardships of life such as illness and death; I find it distressing to be faced with the reality that not every child enjoys the privileges which I had.
The book is written in the second person and thus has the feel of a personal address to a victim of abuse. This certainly does not make it any less helpful as a book for those of us who have not suffered such abuse but may need to address those who have; and it inevitably enhances its value as a text to give to someone wrestling with these kind of issues.
The authors provide a consistent theological lens through which they analyse sexual abuse. Thus, there is none of the usual psychobabble or namby-pamby `big hug' type of nonsense that too often has the effect of either making the problem too mysterious or too simple. There is no mystery about sexual abuse: like all sin, it is all about power; and its effects are complex and long-lasting. Thus, we need neither a new Gnosticism nor some sentimental strip of sticking plaster to deal with it. We need rather to understand it in the context of fallen humanity (historical and theological fact), the redemptive work of Christ (historical and theological fact), and the reality of being a now-redeemed people who have nonetheless not yet reached the Promised Land and thus still live in the shadow of the Fall (historical and theological fact). The authors do this with a single-minded approach that is extremely helpful.
Having said that, they also highlight the fact that human beings, as complex creatures, are generally not healed in an instant. Forgiveness and justification are instant, total, and declaratory; the healing of the scars of sins committed by us and against us can take a lifetime to heal. I often reflect on how, in my own Christian life, I continue to wrestle with many of the same sins that afflicted me on the day I first heard the gospel nearly thirty years ago; old habits die hard. And thus for the victims of abuse: the damage done in the past is not forgotten overnight. The Holcombs are particularly strong in Part Two of the book, where they outline the phases that victims can - not must--go through as grace is applied to their lives.
My only caveat is one that I find myself typically applying to any book dealing with matters such as poverty or sexual assault. The statistics (in this case, the claim that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes) always seem rather sensational. Maybe it is because I have a very sheltered background, but these seem to me unbelievably high; though I have seen enough of it in the church to know that sexual abuse is certainly alive and well within her walls. Perhaps clearer definitions of exactly what constitutes sexual assault might have helped, lest such statistics lead to a backlash through their potential trivializing of what it is and is not.
Finally, having been preaching through Judges for the last year, I have arrived at the truly terrifying chapter of Judges 19. This chapter is a somber reminder that the sins of the gang rapists in Sodom in Genesis finally made their way into the lives and behaviour of the very people of God. In light of this clear biblical fact, books like that by the Holcombs are to be welcomed and to be read, even though the content can only be described as at times very harrowing. They also, I hope, help those like myself, with little experience in such areas, preach with more sensitivity to a congregation where, statistically at least, these matters are almost certainly of more than mere abstract concern.
