Pastoral Confidentiality
January 22, 2013
I hate to disagree with Paul Levy and Scott Clark (actually, that is not true; I am perfectly happy to disagree with them) but I find myself more on the side of Pastor Tom Ascol in the matter of pastoral confidentiality. You can read his thoughts here.
On a related matter, one point made to me some years ago by a minister friend was that he typically did not tell his wife about those in the congregation who were criticising him or with whom he was having some form of conflict. This was for the interesting reason that he had mechanisms at his disposal -- formal meetings, day to day contact etc. -- to resolve any issues and move forward. His wife did not have such and so might end up fostering hard feelings against someone long after the matter was really put to bed. I found that helpful advice.
On a related matter, one point made to me some years ago by a minister friend was that he typically did not tell his wife about those in the congregation who were criticising him or with whom he was having some form of conflict. This was for the interesting reason that he had mechanisms at his disposal -- formal meetings, day to day contact etc. -- to resolve any issues and move forward. His wife did not have such and so might end up fostering hard feelings against someone long after the matter was really put to bed. I found that helpful advice.
