The Single’s Choice, Part 2

Editor's Note: If you haven’t already, go back and read Part 1, 2, 3, and 4 to catch up with where we are at!)

(Read Part 1 of A Single's Choice here!)

4. A heart of contentment is possible because of Christ.

Since his conversion, the apostle Paul had not had an easy life. He experienced frequent hardships, dangers, and persecutions for the gospel’s sake (2 Cor. 11:23-27). His letters to the Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon are known as the Prison Epistles because he was currently under house arrest in Rome that would last him two years.

Yet, he wrote to the Philippians that he had learned to be content in any circumstance (4:11-12).

Two observations:

1. If the apostle Paul, one of the godliest people to walk this earth, had to learn to be content, so do we.
2. Since Paul could say he actually learned that lesson in all he experienced, so can we.

And how did he do this? *Cue oft-quoted-out-of-context Bible verse*: Through Christ who strengthens him (v. 13).

Here’s a second bubble burst for you: that verse is NOT about you getting the grade, securing the job, or shooting the winning basket (thought it’s kind of ironic we use it for that because we often become discontent when we don’t get what we thought that verse would empower us to...)

No, that verse is about Christ strengthening you to be content in every single circumstance of life. And that includes your singleness.

Our culture is intent on making us discontent. Therefore, we must shift our gaze from earthly to heavenly things and speak to ourselves all the things we know to be true (Phil. 4:8; Col. 3:1-4). Make your relationship with Him your primary focus and you will find the discontentment becoming less. Why? Because you will grow to trust that He has placed you in these circumstances and is walking right alongside you in them, giving you exactly what you need (Heb 13:5, 2 Cor. 12:7-10).

As a believer, you have what…or rather Who you need to be content. It is up to you to let who He is transform how you live.

5. Our contentment needs to reflect an attitude of joy and thankfulness.

“Okay fine, I have no other choice so I will grit my teeth and deal with my singleness.”

That’s the wrong attitude. We do not just resign ourselves, throwing up our hands and accepting our lot in life.

We need an attitude of joyful contentment. A contentment that rejoices in what the Lord has given and is doing in our lives right now, recognizing it is good for us. The best way to do that is to have a heart of thankfulness (1 Th. 5:16, 18).

What is there to be thankful for?

Let’s change the question: what is there not to be thankful for?

Meditate on the character and works of your Heavenly Father.

Consider the undeserved gift of His Son’s blood that covered the guilt of your discontented thoughts and granted you adoption as His son who now enjoys all the good gifts and spiritual blessings that come with that.

Gaze at Christ in whom you have been made complete (Col. 2:10).

Think back on your life and the myriad of blessings He has given you.

Reflect on past and present opportunities as a single that may not be available if/when you are married.

As you do so, your mind will be filled to overflowing with joy that results in wonder, love, and praise for the God who provides all you need and abundantly beyond that according to His great mercy and kindness. That gratitude will hardly allow for an attitude of complaining.

But, it is up to us to have that attitude for ultimately, joyful contentment is a choice.

6. Some days, you will struggle to live out your theology.

Reflecting on all you know about Him does not mean the flesh will not still put up a fight. You will occasionally discover the rock of discontentment in your path again.

But that’s when you turn to the throne of grace (Heb. 4:16). You cast all your anxieties on Him (1 Pet. 5:7). You say that it is hard and you don’t understand. You may even ask why.

He already knows all those things. He created that desire in you. In His kindness, He still invites you to come to Him. You can pray boldly, specifically, and persistently (Lk. 11:5-10). Ask for Him to provide you with a spouse. Maybe even suggest a particular person.

But, make sure you have a “but if not” clause in your theology. End your prayer with, “But if not, I trust You. Thy will be done” and go out and keep running your race, fixing your eyes on Him (1 John 5:14).

As you do so, the discontented thoughts will lessen and renewing your mind will happen more quickly. Do not lose hope and get going. There is no place for passivity in the life of a believer, including a single. The prize is waiting.

A Final Encouragement

Single believer, you are exactly where God wants you to be right now. As your heavenly Father, He has carefully ordained all the things in your life according to His good pleasure and design for your life. When He deems marriage good for you, He will give it and your spouse will be all the more precious to you. However, for now, He has chosen to withhold the gift (Ps. 84:11).

So what should we do to avoid the stumbling block of discontentment?

Choose to wait expectantly for the day He will fulfill His promise to come and collect you as His bride.

 

Choose to seek to live the life that God has for you right now to His glory and for the good of others.

 

Choose to fix your eyes on the prize and run your race in such a way that you may win and hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Madelyn Moses serves as the producer of Side by Side Productions, currently working on a docuseries on a biblical view of singleness, launching Fall 2023. She earned her MA in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University (Santa Clarita, CA). She resides in Bucks County, PA and attends The Master’s Church of Bucks County in Richboro, PA.