Hospitality: The Forgotten Qualification

When considering the qualifications for elders, “able to teach” is often recognized as the one qualification uniquely required for the office (1 Tim. 3:2, Tit. 1:9). Certainly, the unique role of elders centers on “the ministry of the word” (Acts 6:4). But another qualification is often missed or underdeveloped, which is vitally supplemental to the teaching ministry. Titus 1:7-8, after listing several disqualifying characteristics, puts it as the first positive requirement: “He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable (φιλόξενον).” 1 Tim. 3:2 puts them together: “hospitable (φιλόξενον), able to teach.”

Why is “hospitality” uniquely important for elders? Why is it such an important supplemental to the ministry of the word?

First, we need to establish what “hospitable” means. While the Greek φιλόξενος can literally be broken down into “love for strangers”, the meaning and use of the word is not substantially different than how the English word is used today. Some commentators have tried to limit its meaning to a particular kind of care for travelers and the taking in of literal strangers. Hebrews 13:2 is often over-translated, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers (there is only one word here, φιλοξενίας), for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” And the context here certainly suggests the housing of traveling guests. However, other passages use the word more broadly. 1 Peter 4:7,9 says, “The end of all things is at hand… Show hospitality (φιλόξενοι) to one another (εἰς ἀλλήλους) without grumbling.” In context, this is something believers are to show within the life of the church. Romans 12:13 says, “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show (literally, διώκοντες - ‘pursue’) hospitality.” So, being “hospitable” was a broad term for the opening of life and home, especially to fellow believers.

Why is this quality so important for elders to exemplify? (It’s not mentioned as required for deacons.) Quite simply, the ministry of the word cannot be limited to the formal (and necessary) moments of teaching and instruction. The responsibilities of elders are not just about information-transfer. They are about discipleship of life. The “doctrine that accords with godliness” (Tit. 1:1; 1 Tim. 6:3) is more than taught; it must be caught. And therefore, elders must share their lives with their people. They are to invite people to observe their homes, their marriages, their parenting, their practical godliness. They are to exemplify the love and openness and hospitality and welcome of Christ. Romans 15:7, “Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”

The Apostle Paul, even as a traveling evangelist, exemplified this hospitable spirit. 1 Thess. 2:8, “Being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become dear to us.” Philippians 4:9, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” 2 Tim. 3:10, “You however have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in love, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness.” (See also 2 Cor. 6:11-13, “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open.”) Paul was not a traveling lecturer, passing on theoretical information. He was a wholistic shepherd, who opened his heart and life to his disciples and let them observe how he lived as a follower of Christ.

Obviously, elders have limited time and resources. It is not possible for elders to live their lives before every member of their church on an ongoing basis. The twelve apostles couldn’t offer intimate discipleship to every one of the 3,000 souls converted on Pentecost. Nevertheless, the early church was “day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes” (Acts 2:46). We can assume that the apostles were exemplary in this, trying to exercise as much hospitality as they could. And most likely, with select disciples, they were able to do more.

Even only one occasion of hospitality with an elder can make a difference in a church member’s life, to their sense of personal connection with their pastor - to know how they live, how they interact with their family, how they lead around the table. An elder’s strategic example of hospitality can be formative to the expectations and culture and habits of the rest of the church.

Therefore, Christ has told his church that elders must be “hospitable, able to teach.” They must be able to “give instruction in sound doctrine” (Tit. 1:9), but also have open hearts and lives, to be living examples of the heart of Christ. They must be more than “instructors”; they must be shepherds, who are loving and inviting to the hearts of the sheep.

When evaluating candidates for elder, leaders and churches need to look for men who “pursue hospitality” as a heart conviction (Rom. 12:13). (By necessity, this would also include the willingness of their wives.) Practicing elders must not grow weary, but continue this pursuit “willingly” and “eagerly” (1 Pet. 5:2).

If you are an elder or an aspiring elder, how committed are you to the pursuit of hospitality for the sake of discipleship? How committed is your elder board? Have any of your members never been in an elder’s home? Have most of your members been in any elder’s home at least once? How about in the last year? How often can you commit to the deliberate exercise of hospitality (once or twice a week, twice a month)? The Apostle exhorts us, “Open wide your hearts” (2 Cor. 6:13).

Matt Foreman has been the pastor of Faith Reformed Baptist Church since 2002. A native of Atlanta, he was brought to Christ in college at Furman University through a Reformed Baptist ministry, and later completed studies at Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. In addition to being a pastor, Matt is an author and a musician.